Cell Phones

Everybody has a cell phone these days! Everywhere you go you can "stay connected". Over lunch yesterday in a popular café in town, I’ll bet there was at least 10 cell phones that went off for different people. Driving down the road you see 50 percent of the drivers on their cell phones while they are driving.

Friday I pulled up to a customer’s house to discuss his winter feed needs. So happened that he was shipping cattle and several of his neighbors were there helping him. They were all still horse back but shaded up waiting on the trucks. I naturally took the opportunity to apply my trade to such a gathering of cattlemen. Then the theme song of "The Lone Ranger" started playing. Every cowboy there started checking his cell to see whose was going off.

I happen to carry two: one supplied by my company so Fred can find me if needed and one personal so the Warden can call me to bring something home.

Now since they show who is calling, I kind of figured out, that if Fred calls, I won’t answer right off or maybe I’ll even call him back at a later time. That way he thinks I’m busy selling feed. (Comes in real handy along about naptime in the afternoon.)

Today the Warden wanted me to go shopping with her. She had to go get groceries at Dillions and to Wal-Mart for the rest of the daily necessities. I offered to do Wal-Mart while she did groceries to save some time. That phone came in handy as I went down my list. I could call the Warden for "verification" purposes as to size or brand or just what the heck she had written down on the list when I couldn’t read her writing. I figure most other shoppers were doing the same thing because about half the people you seen were talking on their cells as they walked down the aisles.

But they can be a source of embarrassment too! Last week as I was filling the car with gas the "mother nature need" happened upon me. So I went to the throne room there in the convenience store, took my stall and settled into the "Thinker" stance. All of a sudden the guy in the next stall ask, "Where are you headed?"

Well now folks, I am the type of guy that can talk to teen or elderly, man or woman or a stranger on the street. Doesn’t bother me in the least to carry a conversation on with anyone. But this was rather an unexpected arrangement.

"Well I am headed to Cherryvale and then to Yates Center" I answered.

There was a brief moment of silence then he inquired, "what are you going to do there?"

Well I am thinking this guy is a little nosey or perhaps he is a spy sent out by Fred, but I answer, "I am going to see some prospects about booking their winter feed."

"When are you going to be back down this way?" he continued his probing of my business.

"It’ll be at least 4 or 5 hours to make the trip," I explained. "Just sort of depends on how many I find at home and how talkative they are."

"Can you be back here by 5?" he relentlessly asks.

"That would be kind of pushing it to be back by then." Now I know this guy has been sent out by Fred to get me moving faster.

Then he said, "I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next stall that keeps answering my questions!" And I heard the familiar click of a pocket cell phone closing.

Folks, let me assure you, you will never receive a call from me if I am in the throne room!
Dennis

The Good Ole Days

With the Warden off being grandma to Micah, I decided to attend the Atlanta Labor Day celebration. It’s always good for a parade, some homegrown fun and meeting some old friends. I sure wasn’t disappointed. At least for a while. Just like my grandsons, I watched the whole parade, hollered at friends when they drove by and held my fingers in my ears when they blew the sirens on the fire trucks.

Afterwards, I sort of strolled along seeing who all was around (besides I knew there was no way for me to keep up with the grandsons). Then, since I am now of the "minimum age", I strolled over to the "old timers" bench (which was in the shade) and decided to people watch.

Then along came Bill and sits down beside me. Now Bill has always been somewhat of drip of cold water but is all right most of the time. We, of course start rehashing "old times" when our own kids were running all over the place and comparing notes over the last couple years since we last seen each other. Soon the conversation begins to turn to statements starting with "member when?"

"Member when ole Skelly went with us coon hunting over on the creek?" he asked with a grin. Then added, "he dang sure could skinny up a tree!"

"Yeah, that night sure was a lot of fun" I added "and we got several coon as I remember."

"Yeah, that ole Buck dog of his was a pretty dang good hound. Never tapped a tree unless the coon was there" he continued.

"Where is ole Skelly now?" I questioned.

"Oh he died some 5 or so years ago" he explained. "Just keeled right over one day."

Well, now I was kind of shocked to hear that news since ole Skelly was just a couple years older than me! But then we both stopped talking for a minute or two, to kind of memorialize our demised friend.

"Member Jim? Same thing happened to him!" he added when the proper time of memorializing was over.

"Jim?" I asked emphatically. "I just seen him a couple years ago here at Atlanta! Looked healthy as a horse!"

"Well he was till he went to the doctor." He explained, "Doctor gave him a shot for something and he had a reaction. Didn’t make the night!"

I am shocked! Again we go silent for a few more minutes of memorialism.

"You heard about Bob didn’t ya? Member him?" he asked.

By now I am getting a little afraid to ask, but I do with a qualifier, "You mean Bob that used to work on the ranch up north of Leon?"

"Yeah, he had a car wreck about 4 month ago."

We again memorialize our friend. But this time when the proper time has past, I decide it’s time to leave.

"Bill, it’s sure been good talking to you." I lie as I walk away. I had all I wanted of this walking obituary! I wanted out of there before this guy killed off all my friends.
Dennis