I try to get by the Stockman's Cafe at least one morning a week for coffee and to catch up on local news. (OK, local news at a cowboy cafe is called gossip at a hair salon .... but "local news" sounds better in a blog!)
The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent!
The other morning as I arrived Bud was showing off his new razor thin flip top camera cell phone. Now watching those 50+ year old cowboys pass that phone around brought back memories of being a youngster and some kid bringing a new toy to school. Every one had to take a look and push some of the buttons. (Of course in this situation no one really knew what the buttons did!) Now Bud was trying to tell what all this new phone would do (which in reality he didn't know either) .... but as the Good Book says, the blind shall lead the blind!
It went something like this.
"All you have to do is open it like this and it's turned on and ready to talk," Bud said with nods of approval all around the table. "It's got speed dial, a camera, speaker phone and they said it even has voice commands. I keep it on speaker because I can hear it better."
"What does that voice commands mean?" Butch asked.
"Well I can just say the name and it dials," Bud proudly answered. "For instance I could say Sheryl and it ....." all of us then heard the multi-toned dialing sounds begin. There was a awed silence around the room as a stunned Bud looked at the phone. We all then heard the ring of a phone as Bud quickly closes the flap. "Dang!" Bud exclaims, "I didn't know it was that easy!"
"So the only way you can dial that thing is to say their name?" Butch asked in clarification.
"Oh no," Bud explained, "you can manually just put in the number or you can have them on speed dial."
"What's speed dial?" Butch asked. He always was the inquisitive type.
"Well Sheryl's speed dial number is 5, so you just hold down the 5" Bud said as he continued his demonstration. Instantly we heard the multi-toned dialing and the ringing of a phone. Bud closed the flap quickly, "Wow that thing is fast!"
"Well how does that camera work?" Butch continued his questioning.
Bud then proudly opened the phone again and took a picture of Butch, turned the phone to him and showed him the screen with his picture one it. "Then if I want to send that picture to someone I just say 'send to Sheryl' and poof off it goes!"
"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!" Butch said in amazement.
With the features all presented, Bud reluctantly folded the flap and put it in his pocket, taking care to button the flap. Just then the Lone Ranger theme song started playing. Bud, being the center of attention again, extracted his phone.
"Hello?" proudly holding the phone out so he could demonstrate the speaker phone.
"Why did you send me Butch's picture?" asked a very sleepy sounding Sheryl.
"Well I was just showing the boy's here how the phone worked" Bud explained.
"You woke me up showing the boys your phone?" a much angrier Sheryl asked. "Well let me tell them what I am going to do with your phone. I'm gonna come down there and ...... " She then went on to explain to all in the room a very detailed anatomical description of where she was going to put that new cell phone. Then everyone in the cafe heard the loud click as she hung up.
The whole cafe was quiet for a minute looking at Bud. "She's a little touchy early of a morning since she took that night shift at the hospital" he explained still holding the phone out as if displaying it. A very worried look on his face.
Butch was the first to break the silence and offer advice for his worried friend, "On your way home tonight, you best stop by and get some flowers for Sheryl." Immediately we heard the multi-toned dialing sounds and the ringing of a phone.
Bud quickly closed the flap as everyone in the cafe decided that it was time to get to work. I haven't been back since that fateful morning, but I suspect Bud is walking a little more bowlegged.