My thoughts

Just rambling thoughts about anything that happens to be on my mind and that usually isn't much!
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Friday, January 6, 2012

Cuss - omer Service

A couple of days ago, one of our satellite receiver boxes shot craps. The Warden said she would try to call that afternoon if I could find the customer service number. I said I would do it when I got home because they would PROBABLY ask a few "technical" questions she wouldn't be able to answer. So upon my return from work, and I came home early, I set about the task of rectifying the problem. My first clue to what was going to be a long evening was finding the toll free customer service number ....

After dialing the  numbers I awaited for the usual "dial 1 for English" which I quickly dialed.  (Another thing, when the automated voice talking to you has a heavy accent, you know you are in trouble!) 

"Pleese lissstn to the falling menu su ve can direction you call"

"tooch one to assess you account"
"tooch two for act-a-vation"
"tooch tree for pograming"
"tooch pour for tech-na-cal help"

I selected pour ..... er .... I mean four.

"You call izz now being dirctioned to you servace rep-re-senive"

"You call vill be ansrewed in zee odor it was cvied"

Instantly back ground music began to play along with recorded reassurances that "all cuss-mor rep-re-senives" were helping other customers and I would be helped in "odor".  The background music was somewhere in between what would be heard at a Chinese New Year party and Rap.

Finally the voice of a female, "My name is Ming Ling, how will I help you?"

"My reciever box shot craps this morning" I said, not thinking about how the slang along with the language barrier was going to slow the translation.

"Shoot who?" Ming Ling asked, "you shoot ciever box?"

"No no I mean the ciever .. er .... reciever box no longer works."

"Did you use power button on the mote or on the ciever box?" she ask.  I guess the prefix "re" was hard for her to say!

"I've tried both" I replied, "and neither worked".

"Have you tied the power button on ciever box?"

"Yes ma'am" I reaffirmed, thinking I should just answer the individual questions and not offer anymore statements.

"Is ciever box plugged in?"

"Yes ma'am.  And I have checked, the electrical outlet is fine.  The reciever box will NOT power up!"

"K.  I will send you a placement for it.  Can you give me the moodel number on the front of ceiver box?"

"Yes it is V-B-3-2-1" I said slowly.

"B-B-tree-two-one" she repeated.

"No" I clarified, "V as in volume.  B as in boy. 321"

"Yes.  B as in bolume.  B as in boy. Tree 2 1".

"Yes.  Ok.  You got it!"

"I vill autorize a new ciever box to be shipped to you.  You should cieve it in tree or pour business days".

"Thanks" I said relieved.

So now it's a "wait and see" if the ceiver box is a B B tree 2 1 or not!