Cell Phones

Everybody has a cell phone these days! Everywhere you go you can "stay connected". Over lunch yesterday in a popular café in town, I’ll bet there was at least 10 cell phones that went off for different people. Driving down the road you see 50 percent of the drivers on their cell phones while they are driving.

Friday I pulled up to a customer’s house to discuss his winter feed needs. So happened that he was shipping cattle and several of his neighbors were there helping him. They were all still horse back but shaded up waiting on the trucks. I naturally took the opportunity to apply my trade to such a gathering of cattlemen. Then the theme song of "The Lone Ranger" started playing. Every cowboy there started checking his cell to see whose was going off.

I happen to carry two: one supplied by my company so Fred can find me if needed and one personal so the Warden can call me to bring something home.

Now since they show who is calling, I kind of figured out, that if Fred calls, I won’t answer right off or maybe I’ll even call him back at a later time. That way he thinks I’m busy selling feed. (Comes in real handy along about naptime in the afternoon.)

Today the Warden wanted me to go shopping with her. She had to go get groceries at Dillions and to Wal-Mart for the rest of the daily necessities. I offered to do Wal-Mart while she did groceries to save some time. That phone came in handy as I went down my list. I could call the Warden for "verification" purposes as to size or brand or just what the heck she had written down on the list when I couldn’t read her writing. I figure most other shoppers were doing the same thing because about half the people you seen were talking on their cells as they walked down the aisles.

But they can be a source of embarrassment too! Last week as I was filling the car with gas the "mother nature need" happened upon me. So I went to the throne room there in the convenience store, took my stall and settled into the "Thinker" stance. All of a sudden the guy in the next stall ask, "Where are you headed?"

Well now folks, I am the type of guy that can talk to teen or elderly, man or woman or a stranger on the street. Doesn’t bother me in the least to carry a conversation on with anyone. But this was rather an unexpected arrangement.

"Well I am headed to Cherryvale and then to Yates Center" I answered.

There was a brief moment of silence then he inquired, "what are you going to do there?"

Well I am thinking this guy is a little nosey or perhaps he is a spy sent out by Fred, but I answer, "I am going to see some prospects about booking their winter feed."

"When are you going to be back down this way?" he continued his probing of my business.

"It’ll be at least 4 or 5 hours to make the trip," I explained. "Just sort of depends on how many I find at home and how talkative they are."

"Can you be back here by 5?" he relentlessly asks.

"That would be kind of pushing it to be back by then." Now I know this guy has been sent out by Fred to get me moving faster.

Then he said, "I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next stall that keeps answering my questions!" And I heard the familiar click of a pocket cell phone closing.

Folks, let me assure you, you will never receive a call from me if I am in the throne room!
Dennis