Traveling with the Warden

It’s always nice to go on a vacation, get away from the routines of a “normal” day and visit family. I wish that they would hurry up and invent one of those transporter things like they have on Star Trek, you know where they can beam you from place to place. But even if we had one of those, I am sure the Warden would forget something and we get “beamer-lag” from return trips to get something the Warden forgot.

The drive to Texas is about 10 hours (based on the average number of return trips to get hairbrushes, nightgowns, shoes or any other left behind object and stops along the way). Our normal Texas trip goes something like this: As we approach the car, I ask, “Can you think of anything we forgot?” Her sleepy reply is always “I don’t think so.”

Mile marker 3: Warden “Wait, I forgot my hair dryer!” Over the years and many return trips, we have carved out of the bar ditch an easy turn around spot here so the return trip is made and we are quickly back on the road again.

Mile marker 35: I mention that I need a cup of coffee to help keep my eyes open. The Warden sleepily mumbles she would like one also. I ask, “Do you need to use the restroom while we are here?” The Warden says no. I make the stop, retrieve the cups of coffee and we are back on the road.

Mile marker 37: “I need to go to the restroom.”

“What!” I ask with a little too much emphasis. “I just asked you two miles back!”

“Well I have had some coffee!” she insists.

“You’ve had two sips!” is my emphatic retort. She says nothing, but the look I receive says volumes.

(This scenario is repeated at mile markers 96, 143, 260, 320 and 412 with the only changes being the liquid that was purchased.)

Along about noon, we decide it’s time to look for a place to eat dinner. Passing through one of the burgs (which are few and far between) along the route we spot the “Red Rooster Restaurant” and decide we shall eat there. There are a few cars around it, so our assumption is that this is at least frequented by the natives and must have reasonably good vittles. However, I do notice as we approach the door, that 5 of the 6 cars have out of state license tags on them. The second clue to leave should have been the Christmas tree still standing in the corner. But we go ahead and select our table away from the door and the blast furnace heat of the outside.

Apparently the Warden is getting the same vibes I am because she leans over and states, “Well at least it is clean.” Just as she says that, the waitress (who can’t be over 14) brings us menus and ice water, then awaits our order. Now folks, I am a redneck and proud of it. I do not look down my nose at any man (or woman) because of their creed, color or clothing. But this little girl makes me look and sound like I am spit polished and cultured!

Well we did go ahead and eat dinner (or at least part of it) there. And so far have not succumbed to ptomaine, hepatitis or typhoid. However, if you are traveling along highway 277 from Wichita Falls to Abilene and spot the Red Rooster Restaurant, my advice is to keep traveling!

Stay tuned, there is always the return trip!
Dennis