Last week in my excursions around the country, I was talking to a young cowboy who mentioned he and his wife were going to celebrate their second anniversary this coming Sunday. When I mentioned that Sunday was also my anniversary, he asked what the secret was to a long marriage. Well I didn't have an answer for him right off, so I gave him the address to this blog and said check it Sunday night. So this post is primarily for him. The rest of you who read this must understand it is similar to a "Dear Abby" column and a specific question.
First of all there must be agreements between you. The Warden and I came to agreement long ago that whoever left first had to take the kids. (I mean what good is the single life if you are toting around three kids? You're still broke!) So that worked for about the first 25 years and then we made a second agreement that whoever left first had to take the house mortgage and that's been working for the last ten.
Secondly you have to learn to say those three little words. "I was wrong" or "You were right". These two phrases are interchangeable and should be used often. Best results are received if you use the two phrases together, "I was wrong and you were right!" However, never under any circumstances should you get the pronouns mixed up and say "you were wrong and I was right!" The resulting mayhem is much worse than global warming .... actually might have some bearing on global warming because things are gonna get pretty hot!
Thirdly you have to learn to treat the wife as an equal. You do this by learning to cook, clean house and do the dishes. Now my expertise is breakfast but I have learned a few extras by watching Rachael Ray on the cooking channel and I got a few good cleaning tips from Hints to Heloise.
Also having a pet name for your spouse helps show affection and endearment. As you have noticed I affectionately call my wife "the Warden".
Remember why you married her and think of it often.
1 comment:
Dennis,
Congratulations! In this day and age this many years of marriage is more of a rarity than a norm. May God continue to bless you. I am sure including him in your marriage has been a big help.
I thought, after my 37 years of marriage, about the word "commitement." Maybe that was what you were aiming toward with your "agreements" - though they were very interesting!
Trisha
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