Cordless or clueless?

This last car the Warden and I purchased has keyless entry.  Now I think this is a marvelous invention!  Not only does it lock and unlock your car but also beeps the horn so you can find your car in a Wal-Mart parking lot!!  I think this technology should be added to such things as cordless phones and TV remotes!

 

Around the KSCowboy household there are 4 cordless phones and a TV remote (we are a technologically affluent household).  However this technology may also cause the break-up of a 35 year old marriage!!!  Let me explain.  Here is how a "typical" day happens:

 

6:45 AM I head out the door as the Warden sips her coffee in her easy chair.  I hand her the TV remote so she can watch the news as she relaxes.

 

7:00  She decides to empty the dish washer and as she is putting up the dishes, the phone rings.  The Warden answers the cordless kitchen phone and talks with her Peoria daughter as she puts the dishes in the cabinet.  Her conversation ends and she leaves the phone in the cabinet with the coffee cups.  Finished with the dishes, she returns to her easy chair for a last cup of coffee and the last segments of Fox and Friends.

 

7:15  the cordless phone beside her chair rings.  The Warden grabs the remote, punches the off button and proceeds with the conversation.  Its her oldest daughter who wants her to go to town with her.  The Warden says she can be at her house by 8 AM and heads to the bathroom.  She lays the TV remote in the linen closet as she grabs a towel still making plans with her daughter on the cordless phone.  Plans all made, she lays the cordless phone on the back of the commode as she steps into the shower.

 

7:30  the cordless phone again rings as the Warden dries her hair.  Quickly she grabs the cordless phone by the bed and discusses the days plan with her middle daughter, all the while primping in the mirror.  The days plans all discussed, the Warden lays the phone down in the dresser drawer as she grabs a pair of socks.

 

7:45  I call just as the Warden is walking through the living room.  She quickly picks up the cordless phone by my easy chair as she heads through the house.  I tell her I will be home around 4:30 because of a canceled meeting.  She tells me she is meeting Becky at 8 and that she is running behind.  She will be home around 5 and will call to tell me what to take out for supper.  She lays the cordless phone on the dryer as she heads out the back door.

 

4:15 PM I enter the house, glad to be home and ready to relax in my easy chair and watch Home Improvement which starts at 4:30.  I look for the remote by her chair.  A little miffed, I search under her chair, between the cushions, in the trash can by her chair, in the cushions of the couch, under the couch and all around the remainder of the living room.   

 

4:45 Steaming by now, I decide I'll just forget TV.  I walk into the office and the phone rings.  I walk to my easy chair to grab the phone.  Nothing.  I cross the room to get the one by her chair.  Nothing.  By now the phone has rang four times and I make a mad dash for the bedroom phone.  Nothing.  The phone now stops ringing and I figure the voice mail will pick up any needed message.  I return to the office, prop up my feet on the desk and see if I have any email to read.

 

5:00  the phone again starts ringing and I head into the bedroom rechecking each phone-less cradle, scanning dresser tops, into the living room scanning every available surface big enough to lay a phone on and finally run for the kitchen to get the last phone.  Nothing.  Red-faced, I return to my office.

 

5:15 the Warden enters the office and with hands on hips says, "I've been trying to call, why didn't you answer the phone?  Now supper will be late!" ........ and it's down hill from there.

 

Dennis