A morning person

I just love getting up early and enjoying the early morning hours. I love watching the sun come up, listening to the birds as they wake up and I love sipping my coffee real slow. However, my wife (the warden) is NOT a morning person! I have tried for 33 years to "coax" her out of bed early, but with out success.

For instance, when we were first married. We lived in this little house with no insulation. (The only warm spot was standing right in front of the heater on a cold day.) But anyway, one cold Saturday morning it was time to get up. I stuck my nose out from under the covers and breathed a puff of white vapor into the bedroom. Now any intelligent person would know that laying under several blankets and quilts will keep you warm and increase the desire to slumber .... right? So the best way to wake up is to remove the desire to slumber....right? Made sense to me! So in one full sweep, I removed all the covers off the bed. The instant reaction should have been recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records! (By the way, it took two weeks and several stitches for the claw marks to heal)

I have also tried waking her with music! Now as a kid, our alarm was waking up to the Smokey Dacus morning show. (for those of you who are unaware, Smokey Dacus was once a drummer for the Bob Wills band). But I figured that the warden would much rather hear my melodious voice, filled with love and joy. However her critique of my baritone version of "There's Sunshine in My Soul" sounded pretty much like a sailor in a bar fight. I didn't know she even KNEW some of them words!

When we were out on the farm, I got an alarm clock that sounded like a rooster crowing from my mother. Now what is more "rural" that waking up to a rooster crowing? So I tucked it away at the head of the bed. The clock does still work, but after that first morning you have to wiggle the little liquid crystal screen to display the numbers and use duct tape to hold the batteries in.

I have tried other approaches with no avail: Cold wash rags (warm ones don't work either), a high lumen spot light, dropping silver ware in a stainless steel bowl, salted coffee delivered right to the bed!

If you have any suggestions to help with my dilemma, they would be most appreciated!
Dennis