There's a good uplifting book by Joe Beam about spiritual warfare by the same name as this blog. Don't confuse this blog with that uplifting book ...... this blog's about getting older and weakening eyes ... and seeing what you thought you seen!!! If you're over 50 you know what I mean about the eyes ... the print gets a little smaller ... the bifocals a little thicker and you now own 4 or 5 handheld magnifying glasses..... but let me explain the rest.
The other day, the Warden ask me to mow the yard while she went to do the grocery shopping. Well while as I was tinkering on the mower, I got a small sliver of steel in my index finger. Now admitedly we're not talking 911 / EMS emergency here ... but it was so positioned that everything I touched wiggled that little sliver and was kind of like touching a small electrical current. Now out in the bright sunlight I could barely see it just under the skin and nothing I was doing seemed to remove the barb. So after fiddling with it for the better part of an hour, I headed to the house to retrieve a needle.
There's two places it's hard to find a needle; in a haystack and in the Wardens sewing box!! There's everything in the world there except needles! Clasps, buttons, spools of thread, snaps, safety pins etc. Finally, giving up on finding a needle, I took one of the safety pins and with a pair of pliers designed me a pointed object! Back to the front porch and direct sunlight I started trying to pry the irritating barb from under the skin.
Well it seemed all I was getting done was torturing myself by wiggling it because I really couldn't see the protruding end of the sliver good enough to get hold of it. What I needed was a magnifying glass. So back in the house I went to get one of those. Now comes the fun part ... trying to hold the magnifying glass and needle (pointed object in my case) ... in my left hand while working on the right. I am not ambidextrous
My neighbor Susie had been working in her flower gardens all afternoon while I was fidgeting with my minor yet irritating problem..... and perhaps she had heard a word or two of frustration. Susie is a very attractive young mother of two and I had been reprimanded a couple times by the Warden for spending a little too much time being neighborly. But anyway, she called out and inquired as to what I was doing.
I walked across the street, finger extended verifying my minor injury. I explained how I was having problems getting the sliver out. Susie took one look (without the magnifying glass) and said she had a needle (she scoffed at my pointed object) and a pair of tweezers. So I followed her into her living room where she extracted the irritating barb in a matter of seconds. I thanked her and headed out the door to get started mowing.
Well just as I was coming out the door, the Warden drove by returning from getting groceries. I followed her into the garage so I could help her unload her groceries. I was reaching to get the first bag of groceries as she stood arms folded just looking at me, eyes first looking at me then across the street. So I explained how Susie had helped get the sliver from my finger.
"That took all afternoon?' she asked pointing at the unmowed front yard.
I don't know which is worse .... having to wear bifocals or seeing what you thought you saw.
Dennis
2 comments:
What is the worst part? Being accused of something you want to do or something you probably wouldn't do. Did you hear about the 90 year old serial rapist. He was accused of assault with a dead weapon. MUD
LOL! I like that there Warden. She and I think a lot alike. Next time try putting a piece of duct tape over the spot where the splinter is and then carefully peel it back. You can sometimes pull the splinter right along with the tape.
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