The Good Lord made me a feed salesman for one good reason: I can't do much else! However, He didn't take the "I can fix that" statement out of my reparative thinking.
Hence, when the Warden discovered a leaking water heater Friday night, I said "No problem! I can fix that. I'll just run to Lowe's tomorrow morning and pick up what I need!"
She gave me the "over the glasses" look, "Don't you think we should just call a plumber?"
"Heavens no! You'll never get one out on Labor Day weekend!" I said, "and if you did ... it would cost you and arm and leg!"
Again I got the "over the glasses" look, "How long will this take?"
"After I get the water heater and stuff back from Lowe's ... couple hours MAX!"
Again I got the "over the glasses" look ... then a defeated shrug and sigh.
So Saturday morning, with mental picture of the old heater in my mind ..... I headed to Lowe's. I picked out the heater, grabbed the fittings needed to plumb it in, extra pipe ... I stood there for a few minuets, mentally assembling it in my mind. Reassessing all the tools and procedures I would need. Done. I headed to the checkout .... used my trusty Discover Card .... and out the door I went. Home by noon-thirty! Plenty of time to finish.
The Warden had a nice lunch prepared when I got home so I could "get right to work". But I convinced her that I had plenty of time and needed a little rest before starting. "I need to let lunch settle" I said.
The over the glasses look, "OK" was her reply.
She woke me later with the question, "do you want me to help you with the heater?"
"Sure! You can come watch." And with that we headed out to the back porch to open the water heater compartment. I stood there with fittings, pipe wrench and saws-all in hand looking at the defective appliance. The fittings in my hand did indeed fit the NEW water heater, but would not match to the old plumbing.
Again I got the "over the glasses" look. "Problem?"
It's time right here to say, the world would be a much easier place to live if there weren't different sizes!
So I'm still in hot water ... oops I mean cold! Does anyone have the phone number of Joe the Plumber?
Dennis
3 comments:
Why does everything break on three day weekends?
Danny came home once to find I'd taken the washer apart. There was this awful smell, and I'd read online how sometimes you needed to clean in between the drum and the housing because lint and lost socks and such could get trapped in there, stay wet, grow mold and stink. I didn't have too much trouble taking the thing apart. I cleaned it all out (though I never found much of anything), and then it came time to put it back together. The only problem was, I couldn't remember quite how it fit back together. I thought I knew, but I guess I was getting one little part wrong that was throwing everything else off. Danny ended up putting it back together and mumbling all the while about how it's easier to put things back together when you've been able to see how they were put together in the first place. Oh well. "A" for effort?
I CAN RELATE TO THIS FOR I HAVE TO MAKE 4 TRIPS TO GET WHAT I NEED TO FIX SOME WATER PROBLEM. WHEN I GET THRU I FIND THE PARTS I NEEDED ON A SHELVE IN MY SHOP COVERED IN HAY TWINE
My best friend also calls his wife the Warden........ Because of her, the only day I can visit his home is Wednesday. She works, and he doesn't on Wednesdays.
I'm so glad I have a wonderful, kind, loving, understanding dog. Without him, it's possible I could be temped to take up with a human. Never again will I do that. My third and last spouse was a warden type, I've learned.
He's so much better than a wife. I can snuggle up next to him in bed. He's warm, and has a silky coat that is wonderful to stroke. He runs and woof's in his sleep, the same sort of thing humans do.
He loves fine food. Sometimes it doesn't love him. I've learned the hard way that I can't share Taco Bell with him, and if I do, I will pay for many hours after.
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